- Tamar Gaffin-Cahn
- Jun 27, 2024
- 3 min read
In this monthly blog, I'll share a few things circulating in my mind over the previous weeks. These emails will be short and sweet, providing thought-provoking insights and lessons about creativity, youth, career, leadership development, and more. Thanks for following along in this weird journey of life.
What I'm Reading
NPR and the Myth of Objectivity by Dustin Arand provides an interesting take on bias and the media. Although this article is behind a paywall, one quotation stood out to me:
“Human beings have a very hard time accepting that complex, apparently goal-directed processes can actually be the result of many independent actors making decisions based on short-term considerations,” Arand says.
We make decisions to solve problems for the now within the systems we understand. Maybe this is why violence is still so prevalent. Violence is the easier answer for short-term solutions. It’s one of the most intense and powerful ways to silence people or force them to change: to problem-solve from one perspective. When we understand the complexity of situations, we realize that violence is the weakest and worst solution. This poses the next question: how do we make change within the complex?
*reaches out to mediators and conflict resolution experts*
Redirecting away from violence towards bias, problem-solving, and leadership, my education in life and graduate school courses provides the answer: listen to others. Understand their "why." Be curious and learn the skills, systems, and processes—the “independent actors” and the “short-term” and long-term considerations. Now, whether impacted parties are willing to do this is a different question.
What I'm Listening To
In honor of Pride Month, we’re listening to an interview of the iconic Billie Jean King by Julia Louis-Dreyfus in Julia’s podcast about wise female trailblazers in their field. You can listen to Julia Gets Wise with Billie Jean King on Apple Podcasts or Spotify. Bille Jean talks about the importance of relationships and being intentional about the process. Leadership isn’t a “me,” it’s a “we,” she says. She then provides three pieces of advice when leaving a space of community and comfort out into the unknown.
Relationships are everything. Get to know people.
Keep learning and keep learning how to learn.
Be a problem solver and an innovator in life and everything you do.
What’s one piece of advice you can focus on this next month?
What I'm Doing
I’m waking up in the middle of the night because I adopted a cat! It's okay because he's a cutie and is adjusting to his new home. He’s a sweet orange tabby nine-year-old named Baxter. I’m learning how to be a cat mama, taking on a new identity and new responsibilities. Here's a picture:
What's Moved Me
“The first step to happiness is bringing in unhappiness” - Tal Ben-Gavir, a Harvard professor teaching the science of happiness.
Earlier this month, I attended a conference for the New England Chapter of the International Coaching Federation, and it filled my cup. It’s a pleasure and blessing to be surrounded by like-minded coaches steeped in curiosity and holding the spirit of connection.
What I'm Wiggling To
Although a sad song lyrically, the music of Oh Caroline by The 1975 has got me up and moving. I hope you get the chance to wiggle this week. If you do, let me know. If you want to wiggle with someone, I’d love to be your wiggle buddy in person, via Facetime, Zoom, or phone call. I promise it’s healing—almost better than SSRIs!
Stay Playful,
Tamar