TGC Newsletter: September 2024

What I'm Reading

Why Do We Live in Frustration?: Philosophy and Techniques for Dealing with Frustration from F*ck Up Nights, an organization that hosts events around the globe for individuals to share stories of their failures and mistakes.

We try something, fail, and get angry, frustrated, or annoyed. We analyze, try again, and maybe fail again. Maybe we get a little bit better, maybe we get better then fail, again and again. Perhaps it makes us pissed off. Maybe we’re hurt by someone’s behaviors or beliefs. 

Here’s the good news: we learn something precious when we get angry and frustrated. We learn about our values and needs. Are you annoyed your coworker takes too long to share their opinion on a new idea? Maybe you value jumping into a project. Are you frustrated your friend only makes plans with you at the last minute? Perhaps they value spontaneity, and you value advance planning. If you are angry about a politician’s policy (or lack thereof), maybe you value self-agency or freedom over your own body. 

What has made you frustrated, angry, or annoyed recently? What value has not been aligned? Knowing this, how can you communicate what you need from the situation?

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What I'm Listening To

It’s easy to be cynical and negative. Sometimes it’s fun! But when does it hold us back? In the podcast, Cynicism is Exhausting. There’s an Alternative, by A Slight Change in Plans, Psychologist Jamil Zaki discusses “hopeful skepticism” to view things like a scientist: a theory is only a theory, and we need evidence to support a claim.

My questions for you are: what is the difference between hope and optimism? What is the difference between safety and learning? How does cynicism reflect your values?

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What I'm Doing

Angry journaling. I’ve been working on my anger in therapy. I keep my anger hidden from almost everyone, but I can feel it tensing my body, jaw, shoulders, and chest. I hold onto it for a long time (hello, stubborn Taurus characteristics). I’m focusing on my anger because I want to forgive myself and others and forgive quickly.

Jews are about to enter the New Year, a time of repentance and, ideally, behavior change for the betterment of myself, my community, the nation, and the world. Maybe, in the spirit of anger, values, forgiveness, and learning lessons, it’s time to recognize what value I’m not fulfilling in my life and bring it back.

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What's Moved Me

"It's nice to have a little help, but we often resent when someone else tries to do it all for us. Each individual wants to make their own dreams a reality. If someone hands you the whole thing on a silver platter, they gift you the result but rob you of the accomplishment.

Remember this not only when chasing your dreams but also when supporting others. Help along the way, but let them run their own race. Your job is to live life with them, not live their life for them."

From James Clear’s newsletter, September 5, 2024

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What I'm Wiggling To

I met Remi Wolf at her sold-out concert in Boston! Listen to Disco Man, my favorite song, which made me a huge fan of this talented singer. How did I meet her, you ask? I ran into my cousin, who went to Graduate School with Remi’s dad! My cousin was kind enough to bring my friend and me backstage to hang out with the band (and Remi’s dogs).

Stay Playful,

Tamar

TGC Newsletter: August 2024

In this monthly blog, I'll share a few things circulating in my mind over the previous weeks. These emails will be short and sweet, providing thought-provoking insights and lessons about creativity, youth, career, leadership development, and more. Thanks for following along in this weird journey of life.

What I'm Reading

This short LinkedIn article by Maksym Kipot discusses undersociality, a new word about misrepresenting social cognition and others' perceptions of us, which can cause us to behave differently. How does this play out in imposter syndrome? When we think others don’t believe our worth or expertise, or we perceive them not to like us, we may be experiencing undersociality.

This all comes down to the story we tell ourselves. We often look for evidence within our lives to validate a story controlled by internal saboteurs or allies. What if you looked for evidence of the opposite? What evidence (or data) would a loved highlight? If you took on your friend’s perspective for one day, how would it shift your energy and thoughts leading up to a difficult conversation or big presentation?

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What I'm Listening To

Hidden Brain’s You 2.0: The Gift of Other People. These 50 minutes give powerful examples of the beauty of connecting with others when we retreat from others in our darkest moments. In it, psychologist Nicholas Epley quotes Bill Nye, The Science Guy, when he said, “Everyone you ever meet will know something you don’t.”

How do you need to behave to be open to learning from others? The answer is authentic and genuine curiosity. No agenda is requested or required. Curiosity creates space to rethink and unlearn to relearn. It reverses assumptions and biases and opens us to new ideas and perspectives. It humbles our egos and feeds our education and growth. It deescalates and builds trust. Ask as if you don’t know. To be curious, you need to listen actively and ask open-ended questions, two elements that take deliberate practice and skill development. 

Over the next month, I challenge you to say as many times as possible, “I don’t know,” or ‘Can you tell me more?”

Bonus challenge: Ask one person a day, “What do you know to be true that you cannot see?”

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What I'm Doing

I am celebrating three quarters done with my Master’s degree and will be entering my last semester in September! I am taking Leading Creative Collaboration with Equity & Empathy and Climate Change and the Arts this fall. I wish me luck, high productivity, and the ability to work quickly so I can find moments to rest. 

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What's Moved Me

Failure

is the information you need

to get where you’re going

From The Creative Act: A Way of Being by Rick Rubin

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What I'm Wiggling To

How can I sit still while listening to the build-up in Ariana Grande’s One Last Time? Adds the song to the Songs I Would Sing At Karaoke note on my phone.

Stay Playful,

Tamar

TGC Newsletter: July 2024

In this monthly blog, I'll share a few things circulating in my mind over the previous weeks. These emails will be short and sweet, providing thought-provoking insights and lessons about creativity, youth, career, leadership development, and more. Thanks for following along in this weird journey of life.

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What I'm Reading

This month, I finished reading Co-Active Leadership: Five Ways to Lead by Karen and Henry Kimsey-House. This book provides a new theory on leadership, debunking the idea that a leader is always at the front of the room. Within this model, there are five types of leadership summarized below. Before you read ahead, I want you to get into the mindset that everyone is a leader in their own way. Everyone has a role to play on a team (whether in an Olympic setting or at an office), in a group of friends, in a family, and within a country. Roles can switch, and individual strengths are utilized.

With this in mind, read about the types of leaders below. When have you played each role? What type of role do you enjoy the most? What do you seek to avoid? How can you enhance your "Leader Within" to make better decisions?

• Leader Within: Co-Active Leader Within accepts themselves fully and claim authority for their life by making the powerful choice to live from the inside out. It is infused with self-acceptance and self-authority.

• Leader Front: Co-Active Leader Front generates an experience of connection and engagement with the people who are following them and articulates a clear sense of direction and purpose. They engage others in a way that is exciting and inspiring.

• Leader Behind: Co-Active Leader Behind assumes positive intent for all parties and seeks to evoke leadership in others by listening, championing, acknowledging, and fostering wholeness through impeccability and integrity. They know they are responsible for their world and don’t need a title to tell them.

• Leader Beside: Co-Active Leader Beside takes responsibility for their world by organizing around a shared intention and supporting each other’s strength to generate a powerful synergy in which the whole is much greater than the sum of the parts. Rather than creating with each other, they create from each other and hold each other accountable. It’s another form of “yes, and” the famous improv golden rule.

• Leader in the Field: Co-Active Leader in the Field expands our sensory awareness so that we can access our instinct, intuition, and imagination and find the courage and commitment to act on what we sense in a way that is innovative and fresh. These leaders focus on awareness of the impact, refining a leader’s ability to sense the moment in a much more nuanced way and helping surface actions that would have the best outcome for all concerned.

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What I'm Listening To

Hidden Brain’s "Making the World Sparkle Again" discusses the tendency to get used to things, both good and bad, and how this can prevent or support joy or harm. In what ways are you used to joy and maybe take it for granted? In what ways are you used to the bad and accept the suffering?

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What I'm Doing

For my birthday in May, I brought 16 family and friends to a Museum of Science fundraiser event, Sparks After Dark, hosted by The Innovators, the Museum’s young professionals group. Because of my ability to bring a large group to the event (Leader in Front), I was gifted the opportunity to become part of The Innovators community! I’m very excited to be welcomed into the science young professionals community and foster the next generation of STEM champions, community builders, and museum enthusiasts! My first meeting is in a few weeks - stay tuned!

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What's Moved Me

Kanter’s Law: Everything looks like a failure in the middle.

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What I'm Wiggling To

With under 200,000 monthly listeners on Spotify, I originally found LYVIA, this emerging artist on TikTok while she sang this beautiful song, Trippin, while in the middle of the street holding a cup of tea. 

Stay Playful,

Tamar