- Tamar Gaffin-Cahn
- Oct 30, 2024
- 5 min read
What I'm Reading
When you think of goats and farm animals, do you think of leadership? Neither do I. In my studies and process of building a leadership course for Graduate students here at Emerson College, this article on Goats and Leadership: Fostering Talent in Diverse Teams by Jesse Hirsh came to my attention. Stay with me.
Each creature or plant has a role within an ecosystem with unique skills and abilities (shoutout to evolution). The same is true for a team. Every group needs a diversity of backgrounds, experiences, thoughts, skills, and abilities; without it, we are a monolith.
When we value diversity, we meet people where they are by empathizing with and respecting each other's backgrounds. These skills, paired with an understanding of influence, are required to be a successful leader.
I once had a co-worker with a poor relationship with a group of our students. Both were wrong, and both were right. I first met with the students to understand what had happened and then de-escalated the situation. I listened, validated their frustrations, and shut down their inappropriate sexist comments. I told them when they were right and told them how they were wrong. Then I spoke to my co-worker, a peer. With kindness and empathy, I asked her what happened. I validated her frustrations and asked her, in her opinion, what went wrong. I shared where she was right and where there were opportunities to try a different strategy. All parties listened because I met them where they were with their experiences and their perspectives. I listened, and therefore, I had an influence. Despite my success and report with the students, I also needed my coworker's strengths. She was a tougher teacher than me, and many students responded better to her style than mine.
In leadership, just like in an ecosystem, we find strength through diversity, adaptability, and meeting people where they are—learning to balance our unique skills while drawing on each other's strengths to build something greater together.
What I'm Listening To
As illustrated in the Goats and Leadership article, we need each other. It may be easier to achieve our goals when in tandem with a friend. In 2019, I became a close friend’s accountability partner for writing her book. It was an opportunity to connect weekly. The Buddy System podcast episode discusses the importance of pursuing goals with a partner. Have you done this in your life or career? What worked, and what would you change?
What I'm Doing
Teaching CliftonStrengths to undergrads, master’s students, and the Museum of Science Think Tank Innovators and their mentors. What is the CliftonStrengths Assessment? Developed by extensive research through Gallup, we all hold 34 different strengths, but they are expressed at different levels and cause various types of expressions based on the unique outcome per individual. There is a 1/10,000 chance two individuals have the same top five strengths. Businesses, organizations, and students appreciate the new language around their strengths to support their personal and professional growth, shed light on how they think and work, and the additional materials that provide insights and guidance on leveraging each strength for success.
My top strength is Winning Over Others (WOO). It means I’m motivated by working with people and thrive in environments where I can constantly meet new people. My other top strengths include individualization, communication, connectedness, and empathy.
I’ve learned much about myself through understanding my top five CliftonStrengths. I already knew I love working with people and am an empath. However, individualization and connectedness gave me a better understanding of how I think, which helps me understand how I navigate the world, my work, and how I show up in relationships. Individualization means I am intrigued by the unique qualities of each person. I understand that no program I create will satisfy everyone, and each friendship is unique. Connectedness means seeing patterns in the human experience, making meaning out of everything, and believing there are few coincidences. Individualization consists of individual stars in the sky; connectedness is the ability to make a constellation. These skills allow me to create dynamic and engaging programs to fit individual’s needs and find ways for everyone to have a shared outcome. Learn more about CliftonStrengths here.
What's Moved Me
Love After Love
The time will come
when, with elation,
you will greet yourself arriving
at your own door, in your own mirror,
and each will smile at the other’s welcome,
and say, sit here. Eat.
You will love again the stranger who was yourself.
Give wine. Give bread. Give back your heart
to itself, to the stranger who has loved you
all your life, whom you ignored
for another, who knows you by heart.
Take down the love letters from the bookshelf,
the photographs, the desperate notes,
peel your own image from the mirror.
Sit. Feast on your life.
— Derek Walcott
What I'm Wiggling To
Settle Down by Wild Rivers from their new album. Try not tapping your foot to this one, or have a dance party in my pajamas in the winter.
New Client Testimonial
Seeing clients “graduate” from their time with me as their coach is always rewarding. I believe growth is the coolest part of our experience in this world—from child to adult, from seed to beautiful flower, from pain to peace, or from the unknown to clarity. It’s an honor to be part of anyone’s growth process. Here is the latest perspective of a client who completed their time with me.
“Tamar has been an amazing coach and is a huge part of my success today. Her personalized coaching style is one that makes you feel heard and cared about. Throughout my time meeting with Tamar she opened my eyes to many new methods of thinking, especially in a professional space. Her patience and understanding made the daunting task of stepping into the real world much easier and more bearable.
At the beginning of my coaching, I truly was unsure if meeting with someone who knew nothing about me would result in a job/ career path. I felt so lost and didn’t know how I was going to figure out my next steps. However, it was quickly evident that Tamar loves getting to know her clients and working with their strengths to find a path that’s right for them.
I cannot thank her enough for all the time and effort she put into helping me grow as a professional and even more as a human being. Thank you!!!”
Know someone who feels stuck in an area of their life? Share my website and link for a free 30-minute consultation.
Stay Playful,
Tamar
