TGC Newsletter: The Grief & F*ckup Issue

We’ve all messed up in small ways and big ways. We’re tried, failed, lost, redirected, tried again, sometimes with no success. 

I’ve got something exciting to announce. Keep reading.

What I'm Reading

I’m in the middle of reading what has become one of my favorite books, There Is Nothing So Whole As A Broken Heart, edited by Cindy Milstein. In a collection of essays and stories, it shares examples of the deep pain and grief of antisemitism. It also tells stories of community and connection, rejoicing and celebration. Our world is full of both, and it’s imperative that we hold on to both.

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What I'm Listening To

The beloved Aubrey Plaza was on Good Hang with Amy Poehler. Aubrey lost her husband eight months ago. Aubrey and Amy are good friends from the show, Parks & Recreation, and you can feel the lifelong friendship come through their laughter and comfort with each other. The friends jump right into what her grief feels like. It’s healing to listen to these two share their stories.

YouTube, Apple Podcasts, Spotify

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What I'm Doing

I’ve shared articles from Fuckup Nights (FuN) before. They are a global organization hosting events in over 270 cities using failure as a tool for growth in individuals and organizations. I’m working with FuN to bring their events to Boston. As the Chapter Lead, I’ll be hosting four events throughout the year with 3-4 speakers each. They’ll be hosted in bars, community centers, and other venues across the Boston area. Speakers will share stories in their various industries.

Intrigued? Do you have a good failure story to share? Want to attend an event? Follow along on our Instagram.

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What's Moved Me

“Mistakes are the portals to discovery”

• James Joyce

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What I'm Wiggling To

This song is a vibe. Feels like dancing down the street, cleaning your kitchen, and living room wiggles. Listen to Sundown by LEISURE.

Stay Playful,

Tamar

TGC Newsletter: The Passion Issue

Real Talk: When students come into my office to discuss their passions, I’m unimpressed. To be honest, I don’t care as much about their passions. Enthusiasm for a task helps perseverance. When moments get hard, passion will push you forward. Passion doesn’t mean an individual creates high-quality work. You can be passionate about reading and be a bad writer. You can be passionate about movies and be a bad filmmaker. 

And yet, we need passion to access a state of flow and improve our craft.

What I'm Reading

I’ve finished reading Yes, And: How Improvisation Reverses “No, But” Thinking and Collaboration – Lessons from The Second City. My favorite chapter was about failure and how important it is to normalize messing up, or f*cking up. Have you been in an environment that celebrated mistakes? Did you learn from the mistakes? Have you been in environments where people are shamed for their mistakes?

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What I'm Listening To

Even within our passions, we sometimes get bogged down by the logistical or business elements that detract from the joy. This is a common challenge for artists and one of the main reasons I chose my master’s degree, Business of Creative Enterprises. Que Hidden Brain’s, You 2.0: The Passion Pill. You’ve probably heard the saying, “Do what you love, and you’ll never work a day in your life.” The idea is that pursuing your passion will feel invigorating — almost magical. But passions can easily wane over time. In this podcast, behavioral scientist Jon Jachimowicz looks at how to keep our passions alive and how to channel old passions into new pursuits.

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What I'm Doing

We’re in the middle of the summer, and I’m trying to enjoy the outdoors before we hibernate in a few months. Big things are coming; stay tuned for the next issue of our newsletter.

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What's Moved Me

The end of StartingBloc. When I was in college, I created my own major, which I didn’t realize at the time was a lonely way to start my career. I didn’t have my professional community yet. A month after I graduated, I attended a StartingBloc Institute.

I landed my first job thanks to a resource someone provided me at the StartingBloc Institute. A person from that first job introduced me to my second. My world opened up to lifelong friendships and professional relationships that continue to be among the most important to me.

It gave me mentors, inspiration, roommates, and thought partners. I’ve celebrated weddings, crashed on couches, danced, and attended funerals of members from my dear StartingBloc community.

The time has come for the organization to close its doors. Unfortunate for the future, but created an incredible past.

The moral of the story here isn’t only gratitude for this institute, its staff, and the board, who have dedicated their time and energy for years, but also the importance of a professional community.

Find people who value the same things and work with them. Find the people who care and be on their team; lift them up and be their support system. Talk to them about your professional world, and be curious about what they’re excited about. Celebrate all their wins and stay with them when they fail. In an increasingly divided and lonely world, feed the relationships of people who get it and get you.

StartingBloc did that for me, and I hope you have yours.

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What I'm Wiggling To

I recently had the opportunity to see one of my favorite artists, Olivia Dean, in concert. Before she sang Lady Lady, she shared that the song is about the universe, god, higher powers, whatever you do or don’t believe in. It’s about embracing change, trusting the unknown, and navigating life.

Stay Playful,

Tamar

TGC Newsletter: The Impostor Syndrome Issue

I'm going to pull back the curtain for a moment and share something vulnerable. 

I don’t know what I’m doing with these newsletters. I believe my goal is to teach you something, but I know you’re smart, I know you’re resourceful, I know you’re creative and I know you’re a whole person.  

As am I.

And yet, what business do I have thinking I have something to teach you?

Is my role here, in these monthly (haha) emails, to teach you something, inspire you, provide resources, or share a new perspective?

Do I need to narrow down the topics? Go deeper into research?

Is it impostor syndrome? Yes. Are you seeing me experiment with the professional content I create? Certainly. Is that vulnerable? Hell yeah. Am I still figuring it all out? No doubt. Am I practicing what I preach, and is it a rollercoaster of success? You bet.

What I'm Reading

I’ve been researching Impostor Syndrome, exploring the connection to the stories we tell ourselves (our self-beliefs), radical honesty (transparency), vulnerability, and failure. There is a difference between how we perceive ourselves and how others perceive us. The Failure Institute’s article on fraud and impostor syndrome shares the importance of humanizing our experiences through vulnerability and the power of telling stories of how we’ve failed. Normalizing the pain is a significant step towards letting it go.

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What I'm Listening To

Esther Perel and Trevor Noah do it again in What Now?: One Of My Favorite People. Out of the many tokens of shared wisdom, there were two that stood out to me:

1. Trevor shares an example of his friends with babies and how they buy babysitter time. Seems normal, right? His reframe was this: we now live in a society that has tricked us into living alone, rather than buying back our community. What would our communities look like if we no longer needed to pay for babysitters?

2. Esther and Trevor are meaning-making royalty, communicating it through poetic philosophy. We create meaning in two ways: through our relationships with ourselves and through our relationships with others. What’s your thought process in how you relate to yourself? And to others? How does that process create stories of your relationships?

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What I'm Doing

In a student appointment recently, this master’s student started our conversation with, “I’m stuck! I don’t know which direction to take. I have so many ideas and don’t know where to put my energy.” Through coaching, we were able to identify that she will pursue a portfolio career —a career with a variety of ways to receive income and utilize her creative energy.

She shared her two-year goal of finishing her book that she started at the beginning of her degree. Halfway through the program, she’s hit a wall. Can’t seem to keep working on it.

After a few questions, I could tell that she was experiencing impostor syndrome. She had received negative feedback in a course, and it took the fun out of writing. Ah, we got down to the source. Now we know how to move forward. 

Much of coaching is understanding what’s underneath the block. Is it not feeling good enough? Loss of joy? Find the issue and you’ll find a solution.

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What's Moved Me

Former lawyer and professional poker player Cate Hall on asking for things that feel unreasonable:

"Ask for things. Ask for things that feel unreasonable, to make sure your intuitions about what's reasonable are accurate (of course, try not to be a jerk in the process). If you're only asking for things you get, you're not aiming high enough."

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What I'm Wiggling To

I couldn’t decide between Haim’s new album, I Quit, or Dispatch’s Yellow Jacket. Help! 

Stay Playful,

Tamar