TGC Newsletter: The Anxiety Issue

Tamar Gaffin-Cahn
Jun 3
3 min read

Hi again. It’s been a while, I know. The past few months have been different. Seems like we’ve been saying that a lot, huh? I’m writing this on a train to New York City, speeding past the lush leaves that didn’t exist the last time I wrote to you. Did you know there are more trees on Earth than stars in our galaxy?

I don’t know why I’m sharing that fact with you.

Maybe because I enter a state of awe, minimizing my seemingly grandiose anxiety about my life and the world.

It brings me into my body, my therapist, and leading psychologists' recommendations for preventing my anxious part from becoming the captain of my life.

Here we are, though. Sitting on a train, passing over rivers, listening to laughter louder than the music from my headphones.

I also officially walked across the stage at my Master’s hooding ceremony. The diploma is on the wall, photos in a cap and gown, and many celebrations are complete.

What I'm Reading

I’ve needed an advocate recently—for a bit now, actually. I asked someone to do that for me, and she reassured me that she advocates for me. She gave me examples of sharing how great I am. However, I haven’t received the “yes” I’ve needed repeatedly.

This got me thinking: what are the qualities of an advocate?

Is it sharing only someone’s positive attributes? Do you need examples of the individual's high-quality characteristics, behaviors, and outcomes? I found this list with qualities I agree with, including persistence, but in my research, I couldn’t find one element: speaking the hard truth to power.

I needed my advocate to think critically, go above and beyond, and communicate against leadership for my ideas. I needed her to be creative in convincing the powers. I needed her to stand in her strength and not accept a no on my behalf.

What I'm Listening To

I'm sharing the Oprah Podcast with Mel Robbins on How to Calm Anxiety this month. They discuss what feels like the overwhelming emotion of our times: anxiety. Mel offers practical, effective tools and strategies—based on science and her own experience—to help ground your anxious thoughts and keep you connected to your capability. She answers questions from listeners about their feelings of anxiety.

Mel shared a mantra that stuck out to me. Repeat it every morning with intention. Take three deep breaths and say it with me.

I’m OK.

I’m Safe.

I’m Loved.

I’m Capable.

You can listen on Spotify here and on Apple Podcasts here.

What I'm Doing

Wiggling as usual, but this time with my coworkers. Before a 4.5-hour-long meeting, which has a history of being difficult for all involved, a coworker hosted a dance party in our conference room.

What a brilliant idea. Cue Pink Pony Club.

What's Moved Me

Anxiety shows up in many ways. Our mind can go a mile a minute, our body could be tense and uneasy. Someone recently said to me, “Great minds have diverse thoughts.”

There is a balance between an anxious, overthinking mind (bad) and diverse thoughts (good). Stay critical of your thoughts to expand your thinking and beliefs.

I have to add two because it’s been so long since I sent a newsletter. A friend observed my kind of advice. He said my advice, the best type, isn’t outcome-oriented but process-oriented.

What process do you need to shift to get a different outcome?

What I'm Wiggling To

A local historical establishment, one of my favorite bars, was purchased, but the atmosphere has stayed the same. My favorite local band, Baker Thomas Band, plays every Wednesday night. Their motto is “Everybody is in the Baker Thomas Band,” and although I'm not musically inclined, I convinced my singer friend to get up on stage, and now I’m friends with the faces of the band. Good things.

Stay Playful,

Tamar